"#1: “I’m mad at myself. I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe after all these years, I’m still talking about my weight.” Poor Ope. What are you mad at yourself about?"
Yeap... after all this years... I'm still mad at myself... I'm embarrassed. And yes, I'm still talking about my weight... even after I gave birth 1 year ago. I've blogged about myself eating like a hippo middle of December last year but still looking like a stick.
Ever since I was 17, my weight has been a steady 45kg (about 99 lbs) ... I'm not kidding.
When I got pregnant in June 08', I even got scolded by my gynae for not gaining weight accordingly!
My hubby had to shoved down foods down my throat (OK, maybe I exaggerated a bit here), but, I had to practically downed FULL CREAM milk, every day... just so that I can gained the normal weight according to my pregnancy phase!
This pic on the left is me, around 7-8 mths pregnant.. even the Ikea paper measuring tape couldn't measure my pregnant belly anymore. And look at those stick thin hands... they are still the same stick hands I have now. In fact, I think my hands are thinner now! :(
By the time I gave birth to Ben in March 09', I was 56kg by then... thanks to my almost daily intake of DOUBLE McChicken burgers + DOUBLE Regular fries + soft drinks + chocolate sundae... I had this weird addiction to McDonalds during my last few months of pregnancy... :P
Anyhooo.... after giving birth, my weight slowly went down, thanks to my breastfeeding Ben. Two weeks after delivery, I had already lost 7 kg. By the time I quit my job 3 months after delivery to be a SAHM, I'm back to my 45kg weight. Even now with Ben going on to be 14mths old in 2 weeks time, I'm still breastfeeding, so the weight stays off as well.
You will not believe the amount of food that goes into this
I'm mad because no matter how much I eat, it doesn't stay.
I'm embarrassed because ppl who sees me, thinks I'm under nourished.
I'm ashamed cos' I really look stick thin.
And people think that I'm anorexic too :(
Even Ben's wrist is getting to be almost the same size as mine. And few days ago, I just realised that I've lost my butt too... I used to have this fleshy butt which I loved but now... it's gone too...
I hope you don't think I'm having fun bragging about not putting on weight no matter how much I eat.
I'm not. I do want to put on weight.
I really want to have some more flesh and fat in my body. I really do...