Saturday, 3 April 2010

To SAH or not to SAH?

I met up with my ex-boss earlier for a late lunch appointment. She asked me out to discuss on a job offer for me. She mentioned one of the remaining IT staff there has just tendered his resignation. So she's asking for my help to come back and work for temporary until the new system kicks off sometime near end of this year.

To summarize this, my previous company is in the midst to change their legacy system and currently is in the testing and data migration stage. So, my ex-boss wanted my help in the data migration part since I'm familiar with the system, knows the requirements and previously liaised with the vendors and users on the requirements and specifications.

I had earlier thought about it before meeting her up that I will not be able to commit to a full-time job since I'm a SAHM now and the most I could offer is half day job...which is about 2 or 3 times a week. But of course, the best is if I can work from home. Reason for my points are same as why I quit my job:

* I'm still breastfeeding my (going to be 13 mths old) boy, I feel that I should be around at home to feed and care for him as well.
* Yes, my MIL is at home but problem is she has sleeping problems (her body clock is out of tune...she sleeps at 5-6am and wakes up at 1-2pm) and she has arthritis as well, so we do not want to trouble her much to care for Ben for too long hours.
* We only have 1 car in the family and hubby uses it to meet clients and go for his projects and jobs. Only when he's taking the train to town that I get to use his car. Even with the thought of working 2-3 times of half day job is also quite problematic already...

My ex-boss proposed that I work 2-3 times a week of full day job (as in 9am to 6pm) but I told her this option is definitely not feasible and explained to her my points above and proposed my 2-3 half days a week option, which I added that it is of course the best if I could work from home. Reason being:

* If I could remote from home to the IT system, I can put on more hours of work (compared to the half day option) as when Ben takes his nap (average 2-3 hours each time during day time - which he normally does twice) I have the free time to do other things. When Ben is awake, I don't need to fully be next to him, Ben has always been able to play by himself for quite long hours. Problem is when he takes his nap, he needs my breasts... he will suckle for about 5-10 minutes and dozes off to sleep.. which is why full day job is not feasible.
* If I could work from home, I do not need to worry about transportation issues at all.
* My Internet connection is on 24/7 so work from home is not an issue.

If you are wondering why am I not expressing and storing my breastmilk? I would say "What's the point?" I've been a SAHM for about 10 mths now and do not feel the need to express and store my breastmilk. Plus Ben is on solids 3 times a day and only takes breastmilk prior to napping or sleeping (about 4-5 times daily)

Now, without this job offer, I am still doing fine. Seriously... We have all been living on 1 income (that is hubby's) since I quit my job in June last year and until now, my own savings are barely touched at all (except to pay for my mobile phone charges). Plus I'm also helping out my hubby in his own IT business on the admin side - this does keep me busy sometime (and yeah yeah... blogging keeps me busy too! ;P).

Now, do I need this additional pressure and stress?

My ex-boss has mentioned that they could look for someone to analyze and go through the system and do the data migration but that would take time and they want to rush this new system out by this year end. She said since I'm available and familiar with the system, perhaps I could help them out.

I did told her that I will be glad to help if I can, in fact, I've always been loyal and helpful as much as I can to my previous company (even as a SAHM now, sometimes the users still emailed me for help even though I'm no longer a staff of the company) but if I am to help out, I have to consider my priorities as well.

Now, my children and family is ahead of everything (before God of course!) and I told her frankly without this job, I can still survive since I'm doing fine after quitting. She kept asking me to discuss with my family and revert to her tomorrow.

Hmmm... in my mind, I'm almost 100% leaning towards 'no' on this job offer. Like I said, if it is working from home, I can definitely consider but any other option than this... I guess not. And honestly, if my help is sought and desperately needed, I think my circumstances should be understood, respected and catered for... Arghh... I dread disappointing people but in this case, my family comes first.

Maybe I'm getting used to the idea of being a SAHM.

Maybe my blog header quote by Mildred B. Vermont is right....

"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love."
(*Image taken from


Jackie said...

What a difficult decision. I think you've made your points clearly & reasonably. Hopefully they'll realize how valuable you are & come up with a flexible schedule that works for you. Good luck!

Aries said...

I was on a nine to five job before, quit about 6 years ago. No regrets and loving every bit of being SAHM. Welcome to the gang. Smile always.

I'm a full-time mummy said...

Hi Jackie!
Yeah..I think if they are desperate and sincere enough, they should respect and try their best to accommodate to my circumstances instead of the other way round. Thanks for your comment!

Hey Aries!
Wow 6 years! I'm 2 mths shy of my 1 year anniversary of being a SAHM... Time goes by so fast! Thanks for your comment! :)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

It is a tough call on paper. In real life it sounds like it would be tough to go back and your family needs you.

Wei Yun said...

Hey Jenny, it's a tough call but I think you already got the answer in your heart. Usually for me, when it comes to decisions like that, I'll pray about it, and see what the answers are. Of coures sometimes it's not so clear cut, hehe :P

Good luck and enjoy Ben's 2nd year :)

I'm a full-time mummy said...

Hi JDaniel4's Mom!
I don't have problem going back to working world but at the moment now, as I'm still breastfeeding Ben (13mths already!) I feel home is where my heart wants to be ;)

Hey Wei Yun!
Yeah... decided... and already told my ex-boss that I have to reject the job if the option to work from home is not workable.

Heather said...

Stand your ground! If you ex-boss wants you that badly, she needs to understand that you are trying to reach a compromise that will help everyone.

I applaud you for saying no. I know that I would have caved!

Diane said...

A lot of folks would SO love to have your dilemma. You must have been a great employee for them to come back like this. Which brings me to my point...sounds like your reasons for quitting are still grounding your life today. You're having a beautiful time staying at home and you don't need the salary. So why take on something that risks compromising the happiness and peace you've carved out now? Stay from home and support them or no deal. Enjoy this time while you have it--your kids grow up SO SO fast. Good luck with this tough decision.

visit my blog and see my latest post on mommy profiling---deals with exactly what you are struggling with. mommyhood and workloads. From a SITSta

RadiuS said...

No need to go work.. Remember the Catalyst that started the whole SAHM path.

Looking back I realized HE has been priming us on this path, from the Church Seminar on 'God's view on Financial Freedom' which i went for all the wrong reasons.

To the day we met a Christian Sister whom we had never met who delivered us this message and direction.

What you do for our Son, MONEY cannot BUY.

I'm a full-time mummy said...

Hi Heather!
Yup! Standing my ground. It's my way or no way, right? Thanks for your support! :D

Hello Diane,
I read your post on mommy profiling and have left my comment on your great post. If only more employers here in Malaysia have your kind of thinking! Thanks for your support and yes, children grow up really fast!

Hello RadiuS dear,
Wah... so no need to go work ar... means I'm now confirmed SAHM already? :P

Hmmm... what we do for our son, money cannot buy. Nod, nod... :)


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