Sunday, 28 March 2010

Please Do Not Assume...

"WHAT??!!!" That was my reaction an hour ago when hubby told me that a friend of ours thought we are rich. I asked hubby what made our friend think that we are rich?' And hubby said he asked our friend the same thing. Our friend said because we can live comfortably even though I quit my job to be a SAHM and hubby is running his IT business without any problems.

Uh-huh... how I wish people could really see what's happening in our lives instead of just looking from outside and assume easily... You know what they said about simply assuming things...
Yep! Do not ASSUME cos'
When you assume, it makes an
ASS out of U and ME!

So please, for those of you out there who think we are rich... please... we're not. Just because I can quit my IT job (a very high paying job mind you!) to be a SAHM doesn't mean we can afford to go on our daily routines as if it doesn't cause a dent to our pockets. It take a lot of planning and sacrifice and deep thoughts and agreements and discipline for us to choose this road. Of course, we're not dirt poor that we have to beg for anything and I'm going to spare you guys the details of our sacrifices, the point is I'm just trying to point out that we are not rich, that we are surviving and is just doing OK.

Doing OK, but not rich. Get that into your head.

Until today, yes, I still think about my high paying salary. How could I not when I am constantly being reminded of that, thanks to my brother who regularly calls me via video call (to see his nephew aka my son) and then proceeded to show and tell whoever at his end (colleagues, friends, in laws etc) that I quit my X amount of salary job just to stay home and take care of Ben...

That aside, like I said earlier, it takes a lot of planning and sacrifice and deep thoughts and agreements and discipline for us to choose to go down this road.

* Planning as in how are we going to survive with 1 less income now, how we have to work together to build up hubby's IT business (it's a sole proprietor business and currently doing well), how we have to plan every thing we need to buy in future.
* Sacrifice as in how I had to forget about my high paying job and stay home 24/7 to take care of a growing baby now, how hubby had to work extra hard so that we can live comfortably at the end of the day, how each of us have our own part to play in this family and that we need to work together to make this works!
* Deep thoughts and agreements as in whether we are doing the right thing... lots and lots of prayers and discussions happened before we finally decided that I will quit my job.
* Discipline as in no longer being able to simply buy things without really really thinking whether we really really need it... every time we go out and we see something nice, we had to go over the "Do I need it? Or is it just that I want it? If I need it, do I need it NOW or I can do without it for NOW?"

Previously, while I was still working I do not have to think twice before buying something I like. Of course, I'm not the type of person who splurge on expensive things anyway. Let me give you some examples:

Last time: I go out, I see this magazine, I like the contents, I see the price is affordable, I buy it.
But now: I go out, I see this magazine, I like the contents, I see the price is affordable, I take note of the contents, I go home and search the Net for the similar info.

Last time: I go out, I see a nice top/skirt/whatever clothing/shoes that I like, I see the price is affordable, I buy it.
But now: I go out, I see a nice top/skirt/whatever clothing/shoes that I like, I see the price is affordable, I think 'How often will I go out anyway? Nah... and walk away...'

In a way, I've become calculative and stingy in the sense that I no longer simply buy things now... every cents and dollars are important! And God plays a part as well! Every thing we have and own, are all from Him. We do not ask for a lot, just sufficient to get us through the day.

Anyway, to cut it short, please,
Do not assume we are rich just because I can quit my job and stay home with my baby all the time.
Do not assume we are rich just because hubby has his own IT business (thank God it is doing well every day!) A business will only grows if someone is running it. It doesn't bring in any profits by itself.
Do not assume we are rich just because we seem to have everything. Look further and find out more before simply assuming we are rich.. because we are not.

I do would like to say:
* We are so thankful that God is watching over us and that we are still alive every single moment.
* We are so thankful that we are blessed with a very healthy and perfect child, one that saves us tons of money - when I delivered him at a semi private hospital via natural birth, breastfeeding him (and is still! :D), takes on home made solids (no jarred/processed food except the during the 1st month when we started Ben on rice cereal). Also, most of the clothing, playpen, walkers, toys are all given and handed down to us by relatives and my ex-colleagues.
We are so thankful that God continues to bless and watch over us, giving us good health (I've only been down twice with stomach flu and fever since I gave birth last year in March), opening up new doors and connections to hubby's IT business which helps him expands his clientele network, taking care of MIL's healthy so that she is still strong enough to help out with the housework and baby care when I need to help hubby in his business (admin stuff)
* I am hopeful that God will be pleased with the road we chose and that Benjamin will grow up to be a God fearing and God loving child and that everything he does please Him and is according to His will.
* I am hopeful that Benjamin will grow up in a loving family with good childhood memories to cherish when he gets older.
* I am hopeful that we will be rich with God's blessing and protection.


Shannon (Coupon Mommy Of 2 ... Now 3) said...

Im not a stay at home mommy, I work and so does my husband. However we barely make ends meet, and I've heard people say things like you cloth diaper you are rich. No, I'm not this is way cheaper for us than to use posies(plus my 3rd is allergic) but still!

Im sure this burnt you up!

Jackie said...

Happy SITS to you.

Love the blog & especially this post. I SAH PT with my girls & find some nuts just don't understand. I even bow down to those of you who SAH FT.

I'm a full-time mummy said...

Hi Shannon!

What?! (There I go again with my trademark reaction :P) Using cloth diaper means you are rich? Noooooo!!! It's way cheaper than using disposables!

Hey Jackie!
Thanks for following my blog and glad you enjoyed this post!

Diane said...

Hi Jenny,
It's not easy to leave a good job (especially a high paying one) to become a stay-at-home-mom. As the mom of 4 kids (and now a grandma) who quit a not-so-great-but-rewarding-job to become a stay-at-home-mom you'll never regret your decision. What's stuff anyway? Now I have a job where I earn plenty of mom but have no more kids at home to enjoy being with....give me the kids any day! Enjoyed reading your blog. You might enjoy dropping by and reading about my adventures in Egypt where I have that job (but no kids sigh...) keep blogging!

Diane said...

Hi Jenny! You'll never regret your decision. I did the same thing. Now i'm a grandma with that job (working in Egypt) where I get paid well...I'd trade in a nanosecond with you any day. Drop by and read my blog about my job...and my kids and grandkids too!


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