Hahaha... found another jokes on management language... enjoy!
* Management Speak: That's very interesting.
Translation: I disagree.
* Management Speak: I don't totally disagree with you.
Translation: You may be right, but I don't care.
* Management Speak: You have to show some flexibility.
Translation: You have to do it whether you want to or not.
* Management Speak: We have an opportunity.
Translation: You have a problem.
* Management Speak: You obviously put a lot of work into this.
Translation: This is awful.
* Management Speak: Help me to understand.
Translation: I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.
* Management Speak: We're going to follow a strict methodology here.
Translation: We're going to do it my way.
* Management Speak: I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary?
Translation: I still can't figure out how to start the e-mail program.
* Management Speak: We have to leverage our resources.
Translation: You're working weekends.
* Management Speak: Your project is on hold.
Translation: We've put a bullet in it.
* Management Speak: You needed to be more proactive.
Translation: You should have protected me from myself.
* Management Speak: I'd like your buy-in on this.
Translation: I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs.
* Management Speak: We have to put on our marketing hats.
Translation: We have to put ethics aside.
* Management Speak: It's a no-brainer.
Translation: It's a perfect decision for me to handle.
* Management Speak: I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal.
Translation: One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid.
* Management Speak: There are larger issues at stake.
Translation: I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts.
* Management Speak: I'll never lie to you.
Translation: The truth will change frequently.
* Management Speak: Our business is going through a paradigm shift.
Translation: We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different.
* Management Speak: That's very interesting.
Translation: I disagree.
* Management Speak: I don't totally disagree with you.
Translation: You may be right, but I don't care.
* Management Speak: You have to show some flexibility.
Translation: You have to do it whether you want to or not.
* Management Speak: We have an opportunity.
Translation: You have a problem.
* Management Speak: You obviously put a lot of work into this.
Translation: This is awful.
* Management Speak: Help me to understand.
Translation: I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.
* Management Speak: We're going to follow a strict methodology here.
Translation: We're going to do it my way.
* Management Speak: I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary?
Translation: I still can't figure out how to start the e-mail program.
* Management Speak: We have to leverage our resources.
Translation: You're working weekends.
* Management Speak: Your project is on hold.
Translation: We've put a bullet in it.
* Management Speak: You needed to be more proactive.
Translation: You should have protected me from myself.
* Management Speak: I'd like your buy-in on this.
Translation: I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs.
* Management Speak: We have to put on our marketing hats.
Translation: We have to put ethics aside.
* Management Speak: It's a no-brainer.
Translation: It's a perfect decision for me to handle.
* Management Speak: I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal.
Translation: One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid.
* Management Speak: There are larger issues at stake.
Translation: I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts.
* Management Speak: I'll never lie to you.
Translation: The truth will change frequently.
* Management Speak: Our business is going through a paradigm shift.
Translation: We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different.
3 comments:
These are funny for those just reading them. For those like me who've experience them, they bring tears to the eyes, and a sharp pain in the chest! =-P
Regards
Mark
http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/
Aiyor... so sad ar? At least you know these are real things la! If you heard anything other than those listed in the post, feel free to add it in! :D
I'm such a famous guy, cannot lah...wouldn't want to burn any bridges! =-P
Regards
Mark
http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/
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