Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Hey Santa! You Better Read This...

Yes, you, Santa. I'm telling you to read this post. I'll try to keep it short and simple.What? You don't like the tone of my voice? Which part of my face that looks like I care? Sorry, I don't trust you. I don't hate you but I'm not exactly your fan either.

The last good memories I had of you was being super excited (kinda like seeing a celebrity for the 1st time) seeing you when I was a piggy-tailed 5 year old running among the other children in a shopping mall trying my luck to get you to notice me and to give me some free Christmas sweets which you were busy handing out then.

And what did you do? What? I can't hear you. You don't know? How convenient... You know what you did? Let me tell you. You, Santa, you walked away. YOU.. WALKED.. AWAY.. FROM.. ME... When I chased after you, you turned around and showed me your open hands... EMPTY and you continue walking away. No words of comfort , not even a consolation pat or hug or handshake. How could you do this to a 5 year old? Do you have any idea what trauma that caused to a 5 year old girl?

So fast forward 2 and a half decades on, no more Santas for me. NO MORE. I'm pretty much done with you. But in the spirit of Christmas and since I'm a mummy from this year onwards, I'd like to give you a chance to make things right again. Do you want that? Did I just hear a YES?

So, here's the deal. I'm not a selfish person, I just want you to do the following for my family members:
1. My dear hubby
Since I quit my job in June 2009 to be a SAHM, there is one less income to the family. So, I want you to help us in giving us a continuous flow of clients and projects to his own IT business (I don't mind the admin stuff and paperwork I have to do to keep track of the quotations, invoices, PO, price list updates and etc) and that people will miraculously approach and engaged him to handle their housing loans /refinancing. Can you make our income accumulate steadily so that we are able to get a better Sedan / family car?

2. My 9 month old baby boy, Benjamin

You definitely should know how well behaved my son is! He deserves great stuff from you but hey, at this tender young age, even a card board is a fun toy for him! DO NOT WALK AWAY. You do not want to mess up with me now. I'm not that nerdy scared 5 year old girl who gets bullied easily. So, come on! Card board is cheap stuff. I'm sure you can do better than this.

3. My MIL
You know Santa, my MIL is not a spendthrift person at all. Her version of a Christmas tree is a 10 inch tall mini plastic Christmas tree adorned with stuffs like mini bells and Chinese New Year decorations. Yes, I kid you not. But hey, it's the thoughts that count right? So could you please just take away her knee pains and let her be able to stand up straight and walk without her feeling pain in her knees? She's terrified of surgeries for kneecaps replacements, so the best you can do is to take the pain away. Do you think this can be done?

4. My one and only elder brother
Yes, I'm sure you know my brother just bought a new house. Finally, a landed property instead of the apartment he was staying in. But because of the red tapes and banking procedures, he only managed to receive half of the apartment's money from the bank. Can you please kick those bankers' ar$e and tell them to hurry up and release the other half of his money so that he can use it to do his house renovation? I'm not asking you to give my brother a sack load of money (although I'm sure he doesn't mind if you do that!), all you need to do is to just get the others moving so that his house will be ready in time for us to celebrate Chinese New Year 2 months from now. Can you do that?

Of course, there are many more people that I'd like you to help them with, but I think we start with these 4 people who are dearest to me.
You do not need to drop by with your troop of reindeer. I think it will cause a commotion in Malaysia as we don't see real life reindeer here EVER! Just wave your magic wand or send one of your elves or whatever you use to get things done with.

Take this as a friendship test. If you can do this, perhaps we can be friends again. Till then, stay happy and get working on this!


Paige said...

This post is hysterical! I myself am not fond of Santa either, and I think mine happened around the same age yours did. Maybe I should share that story on my blog!

Stopping by from SITS to say Hello! Have a Merry Christmas.

I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Hello Paige!

Glad you like the post. I'm kinda worried that Santa might get offended with my letter and sent me a thrash load of his reindeers' poop :P

Let me know if you decide to share my post in your blog. Thanks and merry SITSmas to you as well! :D

Erin Bassett said...

I have Santa-trauma too. My parents used to go all out tricking us into believing that the "real" Santa would be coming to our home. I could go on & on at all the things they did...but I'll spare you. So, anyways, at school I heard some kids saying Santa wasn't real & I came home & told my Mom...she told me the truth. I bawled. I couldn't believe they lied to us. I couldn't believe he wasn't real. Total disappointment.

I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Hi Erin!

Wow! Thanks for sharing your San-tra-uma story!

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

You've got me "chuckling" all the way...


I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Hi Confessions From A Working Mom!

Hope you like the post! Thanks for visiting!

Lyn said...

Great post. Thanks for the smile.

Bianca @southbay rants n raves said...

Hello from California! Hope Santa grants your wishes!

I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Hi Bianca!

Thanks for dropping by! I hope Santa grants my wishes too! :D

BLOGitse said...

SITS greetings from Cairo! :)

I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Hi BLOGitse!

Thanks for dropping by!

Kristin said...

What a fantastic post. I hope Santa's paying attention!

I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Hi Kristin!

Thanks alot! Glad you like this post!


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